Beware the Hands-on Owner
This one is for all the hoopleheads who think the Browns would have more on-field success if owner Randy Lerner was sitting at a desk in Berea on a daily basis. You know, be more of a “hands-on” owner.
Dan Snyder is the hands-on owner for the Washington Redskins. Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper published an A-Z list of all the ways Snyder has worked to ruin the team.
Some of the highlights:
- 8-3: Record Marty Schottenheimer posted in the last 11 games of the 2001 season, his first as head coach of the Washington Redskins. Snyder fired him anyway.
- Bankrupt Airline Peanuts: What Snyder was selling to fans at FedExField. During the 2006 season, vendors offered shelled nuts in royal blue and white 5 oz. bags adorned with the Independence Air logo. Problem: The airline had gone under about a year earlier. The supplier told Washington City Paper that it stopped shipping the airline’s nuts “before Independence Air went out of business.” A spokesman for the Peanut Council told City Paper that to prevent rancidity, the recommended shelf life of a foil bag of out-of-shell peanuts was “about three months.”
- “Ewwwww!”: How Barbara Hyde, spokeswoman for the American Society for Microbiology, reacted to last year’s news that Snyder’s vendors were selling beer in the bathrooms. Fans had been alleging that the Redskins were hawking lager in the loo long before a YouTube video surfaced in October 2009. Hyde said that because microbiological bad actors like E. coli hang out in the men’s room, beer vendors shouldn’t.
- Fan Appreciation Day: Gimmick used in 2006 by Snyder to draw people to FedExField, where he charged $25 to park to watch the team scrimmage and hear an address from Vinny Cerrato. The parking charge was not mentioned in the advertisements the team produced for the event.
- Herzog, Frank: Beloved former Redskins play-by-play announcer. Herzog was best known for signature call, “Touchdown, Washington Redskins!” He was replaced in Snyder’s Redskins Broadcasting booth in 2004 by Larry Michael, best known for saying “Brought to you by Subway! If you love bacon come into Subway! Eat fresh!”
- Pentagon Flag Hat: A Redskins cap sold for profit by Snyder to “commemorate September 11” in time for the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Ads boasted that the $23.99 caps, really just black Redskins hats with a red, white, and blue Pentagon sewn on the side, were “expected to be worn by the Redskins coaches.” No other NFL team put 9/11 commemorative products for sale during the 2006 season, for profit or otherwise. Snyder had previously added a $4 “security surcharge” to the ticket prices soon after the attacks.
- Sponsored Sponsors: A technique created by the Redskins Broadcast Network in the Snyder era to cram in all the advertising sold on Redskins radio broadcasts. No segment of a Skins game goes unsponsored, leading to fabulous listening moments such as: “The GMRI scoreboard brought to you by McDonald’s.”
We think you get the point. Just remember this cautionary tale the next time you think Lerner’s presence in Berea has any bearing on the outcome of a Browns game.
Lerner has finally put together a management team with Mike Holmgren, Tom Heckert and Eric Mangini that is turning the Browns in the right direction. It’s better for everyone involved if Lerner pays the bills and lets everyone do the job they were hired for.
Because it would not be much fun if we had an owner like Snyder in town.